‘The Bachelor’ Monday Link Buffet

So I don’t know if you guys know this, but one of the things I do when I’m not blogging recaps of TV shows that define our times or writing novels that have you bawling on your next flight and on the stairmaster at the gym is curating content.

Like, professionally.

Yeah. That means I get paid for it. So I guess you could say that I’m pretty good at it. *polishes knuckles against shirt*

And as you may have discovered, we are now at the height of Bachelor mania. You can’t get away from it, even if you try: Every site in digital history now features a recap; a zillion Bachelor-themed podcasts are popping up; and there’s been actual, intelligent, deep-diving thought pieces on how the show is shaping the current landscape of culture as we know it.

So much good stuff, in fact, that I decided the only way I was possibly going to justify all the time one would need to spend wading through it all is if I could somehow turn it into a blog post or some other form of media where I could get attention and credit for spending my time reading articles about The Bachelor.

Hence, I give you: The Bachelor Monday Link Buffet.

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I’m gonna have to work it with that title a little bit. Saying “link buffet” makes me think of a bunch of little sausage links.

Which also makes me think of tiny dicks.

So. Let’s call it a “working title”, mmmkay?

Also, check out this super awks photo of former Bachelor Brad I found:

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For the rest of the season, we’ll kick off Bachelor Monday with a lil’ link buffet of somewhat-Bachelor-related videos, recaps, podcast episodes, Twitter accounts – whatever’s good, Miley – to get you in the mood for the 2 hours of hot Bachelor mess coming up at you later that evening. This week’s post won’t be an exhaustive list – just a lil’ taste to get us started, also I really wanna watch Downton Abbey before the live-tweeting begins, so, you know…time management + priorities – so keep checking back for more linked-up radness.

And as always, if you know of cool stuff that I don’t know about, feel free to reach out to me at Amber at AmberLCarter dot com and I’ll give you a nice lil’ shout-out on this here blog.

So just sink that bikini bod into this nice warm hot tub, murmur “Mmm, I like this”, and get ready for this rose-themed linkage to caress your sweet, innocent, love-seeking face:

1) SNL Spoofs The Bachelor with the skit, “The Bland Man”
Not my favorite of all Bachelor-themed skits, but it’s got some LOL’s.

2) ‘The Bachelor Party’ with Ben Higgins and Sports Gal (Podcast)
A new friend and fellow Bachelor lover here in Portland turned me onto this podcast, which admittedly would be hard to find if you didn’t already know about it, since it’s not a stand-alone podcast but rather a weekly episode called ‘The Bachelor Party’ on Channel 33 : The Bill Simmons Podcast Network. This week’s episode features an interview with Ben, and he’s just as adorable and charming and friendly on this interview as he is on the show.

Seriously, you guys. He’s so NICE. And not, like, dumb vapid nice…like genuinely good guy nice.

Which is kind of lame, because recaps are so much more fun when you actually don’t even like the Bachelor. THANKS FOR RUINING EVERYTHING, BEN, BY BEING NICE.

3) ‘The Bachelor’ Is Letting Its Race Issues Show, But That’s Not Enough by Claire E. Fallon for Huffington Post
Claire has quickly become one of my favorite live-tweeters this season, and her Huffington Post pieces about the show are reassuringly thoughtful and refreshingly candid when it comes to the larger and deeper issues of The Bachelor. This week, she gives a thoughtful dissertation to the racial undertones of what happened in last week’s episode between the Jubilee and the other women. If you read my recap, I don’t have to tell you that I was deeply disturbed by the behavior of the women in the house regarding Jubilee, and those feelings felt particularly misplaced and unbelievable in the context of a show that’s supposed to be all about roses, romance, and, at the most, some catty but minor competition between women. Yet Fallon’s piece does an incredible job of laying out the racial complexities of this show in ways we can no longer escape or ignore. This part, in particular, stunned me:

As soon as a black woman becomes a serious challenger, she’s othered, disproportionately targeted by incredulous contestants who see her as an inappropriate spouse, and entangled in the distractions of painful interpersonal drama.

Bravo, Claire.

Also, to piggy-back off of that, check out Claire’s Bachelor-themed podcast with Emma Gray, Here To Make Friends.

4) Five Minutes in the Closet: Bachelor Season 20, Episode 3 (Jennifer Weiner)

I love Jennifer Weiner. The End.

5) How The Bachelor Comes Up With Its Crazy Contestant Bios, From “Chicken Enthusiast” to “Dog Lover” via Slate
THE ANSWERS ARE HERE WE CAN FINALLY SLEEP AT NIGHT YOU GUYS

6) Joelle Fletcher’s Instagram
I’m still pissed at JoJo and Becca for their mean girl antics on last week’s episode, but I’m also obsessed with JoJo’s Instagram. So. Consider this an example + exercise in knowing that sometimes you can still love someone despite their faults, especially when that someone has some consistent on-point lip game.

7) The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford
If watching The Bachelor gets you down about the state of your own (non-existent) love life and you’re open to manifestation type stuff, then snag yourself a copy of this book. #RealTalk: The title admittedly sounds a little hippie-dippie, but I used it one summer after a client asked me to read it so I could get a better feel for her online dating goals, and I now consider it directly responsible for literally – and not Bachelor Amber literally, but LITERALLY – ushering in one of the best relationships of my entire life (not to mention a super fun/exciting/hot summer and fall). Whether it was that the little rituals and practices worked or because it simply put me in the right mindset to expect good things, it matters not. 

AND, the Kindle version is currently a buck o’ninty-nine thanks to the Daily Deals on the A to Mazon, which means that, for less than the cost of a latte, you can start ushering some sweet, sweet love stuff into your life (and just in time for Valentine’s Day!).

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8) Why Women Still Watch ‘The Bachelor’ Even Though They Know It’s Terrible | MIC.com

…the work of critics like Pozner and the engagement of feminist-minded live-tweeters serves an important purpose: We might not have control over the media we’re given, but we do have full control over how we engage with it and even utilize it to our own, feminist end.

Right on.

9) Former Bachelor and Bachelorette Contestants Tell All! | The Cut
I fucking love behind-the-scenes articles about The Bachelor. I want all the dish. ALL OF IT. Tell me EVERYTHING about this show, and also make sure to also include information how I can get a job as a producer so I can make all my dreams come true + find out everything for myself.

10) ‘The Bachelor’s Courtney Robertson’s ‘I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends’ Reveals These 10 Secrets of the Show
On that same tip: This piece is actually a couple years old, but I’m bringing it up again to reassess the power a villain like Olivia has to turn it all around *after* the season. I HATED Courtney with the fire of a thousand suns when she was on Ben’s season of The Bachelor…and then she came out with this book and I was like, “Yeah girl. #TeamCourtney all day long.” The book is also a totally dishy, gossipy, fun read that I highly recommend when you’re in the midst of All Thing Bachelor.

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And that’s it for this week! For more beautiful Bachelor web-bounty throughout the week, you can follow me on Twitter (note: as long as I can tell that you’re a real person, I take great pride in always following back, because that’s just how I feel social media should be…but it might take me a couple days to catch up, so please don’t get butthurt if you follow me and don’t get an immediate follow back) and catch up on my Facebook Page. If you like to get all of your Bachelor stuff in one straight shot on an easy weekend morning, you can also subscribe to my email newsletter, which drops into your inbox once a week, keeping everything nice and tidy for your cute butt.

And as always, if you’re down with the post and the joy that it has brought into to your life, please share it with your friends!

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About Amber L.

Hi! I'm Amber. I've been telling stories with books and blogs since 2004. I also spent 10 years working as a behavior therapist, which I now put to proper use by publishing thought pieces and dissertations on '80s pop music and the defining TV shows of our current times ('The Bachelor', 'Vanderpump Rules', etc). I can also be credited with single-handedly ruining the city of Portland, OR just by moving here.

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