The 2015 Fuck It List: #1. TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE OF ANYTHING

Back in 2014, I posted my 2014 Fuck It List based on and inspired by this most excellent post:

Welcome to my Fuck It list. Fourteen things I’m going to stop giving a fuck about in 2014. Because, as important as it is to push yourself to be a healthier, more compassionate person, that can be downright impossible. Refusing to give a fuck, however, isn’t just easy — it’s kind of awesome.

{Prehistoric Amber} The Fuck It List: 2014 | AmberL.Carter.com

So fuck it. Here are the fourteen things I’m going to stop worrying about come 2014.

– 14 Fucks I Refuse To Give In 2014

This year, I’ve made a list of 15 Things I Refuse To Give a Fuck About In 2015 (capitalized, because it’s IMPORTANT). But instead of trying to write and post a huge massive manifesto all at once, I decided to instead break my list down into bite-sized pieces.

 

15 Fucks I Refuse To Give In 2015

 

1. TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE OF ANYTHING

“…As a general rule …I don’t invest much time into trying to convince people of anything.” – Sara Janssen

In the past few years, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to convince people to do stuff. Buy my book…come to my party…read my blog…try this oil…listen to this podcast…hire me for this gig…invite me to your private beach house in the Turks & Caicos for New Years…

I’ve spent hours agonizing over pitches, sponsorship letters, invites, emails, cover letters…trying to find that one thing that would click in that other person’s brain and make them go, “Yes! HER.”

And then, inevitably, I’d find myself resentful that I spent all that time making things pretty enough for them to say yes, only to receive nothing but a plain and simple “no”.

One night not too long ago, after spending an hour or two crafting and drafting the perfect email to a potential client, I saw the above comment by Sara, my mentor, and realized that I was trying way too hard.

And then I realized why.

Wanna know what the act of convincing is? It’s a cover-up. It’s a pile of words dumped onto a scuffed table. It’s a pretty frame on a picture of meh. It’s a piss-poor choreographer filling his routine with Hairography.

Yeah. I’ve watched Glee.

Convincing is the go-to dance step of the unconfident.

And you know what can make you feel really unconfident? Starting a new business. Publishing a new book. Producing a (two) new podcast(s).

So I sat down and had a Come To Jesus talk to myself, most specifically regarding my new business…I created it because I loved and believed in personal development. Yet I found myself terrified as coming off as schiesty when it came to sharing that with people.

The 2015 Fuck It List | AmberLCarter.com

So I decided on a new formula: Keep it simple, then shut the hell up. Instead of elaborate pitches, I worked it with a few simple questions…I have this new thing I think you might like…if I shared it with you, would you try it?…I’m creating this fun new gathering + class…if I sent you an invite, would you want to come?…How do you feel about using ___ to help you with ___?

And you know what my very first response was?

“No.”

Which was hilarious, but also totally fine – instead of spending my usual two hours to hear that no, this time I only spent 5 seconds.

But the next few answers? Totally great. And because they weren’t overwhelmed with my soft-shoe shuffle, we were able to get down to business and get stuff on the books straight away.

So in 2015: Confidence > convincing. Operating from the simple standpoint that the right people will pick up what you’re putting down.

Bells and whistles not included.

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About Amber L.

Hi! I'm Amber. I've been telling stories with books and blogs since 2004. I also spent 10 years working as a behavior therapist, which I now put to proper use by publishing thought pieces and dissertations on '80s pop music and the defining TV shows of our current times ('The Bachelor', 'Vanderpump Rules', etc). I can also be credited with single-handedly ruining the city of Portland, OR just by moving here.

7 comments on “The 2015 Fuck It List: #1. TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE OF ANYTHING

  1. I refuse to give a fuck about people being pissed off that I am not on facebook and will no longer try to accommodate them. There are many other ways to communicate with me.

    • I always kind of find it fascinating when someone’s not on Facebook, Kris. The only time I ever get pissed about it is when I’m in the mood to do some in-depth stalking on a crush and he’s not on there.

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