Bachelor Monday Link Buffet: Week 11!

Guys, it’s the very last Bachelor Monday Link Buffet of the season! *tear*

As you might have caught onto already, I didn’t do a recap or Live Tweets Edition of The Women Tell All last week. I thought about it, but then I realized that my entire recap would have pretty much consisted of me just shouting “SHUT. UP!” over and over, which is basically all I did during the entire broadcast of the show. It was sometimes dramatic and sometimes cheesy and sometimes dumb, but overall there weren’t any huge revelations that I felt necessitated my expounding upon what was said by the various women. I still love Jubilee, I still loathe Jami and Amber, Olivia is going to become the new Courtney Robertson, Leah did not personally redeem herself but I enjoyed her defense of Jubilee, Lace is going to be the star of Bachelor In Paradise, the twins can just shut the hell up already (seriously, why does Haley even get to talk?), and Caila is still the worst. The end!

Oh, but this happened, which is my personal favorite moment of the entire season:

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Just rackin’ ’em up, guyyyssss! This makes me laugh because that Ali F. actually had a reason to block me since I legit mean-tweeted her about liking a girl on The Bachelor because she was just as passive-aggressive-bitchy as her, but I didn’t even TALK to Tenley.

My new boyfriend JJ is probably gonna be real mad at me for pissing off his best gal pal, though, so that kind of sucks, but otherwise it’s super hilarious.

Next up, getting blocked by Trista! I think I can really do it, you guys…once I put my mind to something, there’s no telling what I can accomplish!

So anyway! Let’s get into the Linx and get ourselves properly ready for the three hour festival of drama that awaits us this evening:

1) Amy Schumer Slams ‘Bachelor’ Host Chris Harrison for Calling Jubilee Sharpe ‘Complicated’ | USWeekly.com

#FUCKYEAHAMYSCHUMER

2) The Bachelor Finale: The Surprising Reason Each Contestant Keeps Her Dress and 9 Other Style Secrets From the Show | People.com

And there’s no one we love to dish about all things Bachelor more than Dana Weiss, founder of the hilarious television style blog Possessionista. We asked the small screen style expert to weigh in on the show’s finale fashion and she delivered 10 juicy secrets straight from Bachelor stylist Cary Fetman.

Yeah, babe.

3) Girl that no one wanted as the next Bachelorette weighs in on another girl that no one wants as the next Bachelorette

Former ‘Bachelorette’ Britt Nilsson Reveals Her ‘Bachelorette’ Choice For 2016 on Bustle.com, and the world yawns.

4) ‘The Bachelor’ Finale: Forget Ben, Here’s the Real Winner | Forbes.com

Resort placements in “The Bachelor” have spanned the globe from Canada to Croatia and throughout the tropics. The show’s co-executive producer, Peter Scalettar,estimated the media value of such spotlight treatment in a series finale at $20 million to $100 million.

Proving once again why it’s totally okay to bitch about the shitty destination locations of the past couple of seasons.

5) Sean Lowe’s book is only .99 cents on Kindle!

BookCover

I totally downloaded it.

6) ‘Bachelor’ contestants rack up huge bills for ‘love’ | NewYorkPost.com

Contestants do receive gift bags with sponsored items like bathing suits and yoga mats, and some have been able to parlay their appearance on the show into a media career. However, preparing for the show and living with reality television fame can be no bed of roses (excuse the pun) when it comes to keeping your savings account intact.

7) ‘The Bachelor’ on Twitter: The Best Celebrity Fans to Follow for Ben’s Finale | HollywoodReporter.com
I am not listed in this article, but you should still read it anyway.

And that’s it! I tried to find more, but most of the stuff online this week is basically just “Who is Ben going to choose???” stuff, which is boring because we all know it’s going to be Lauren B. Also, I highly enjoyed US Weekly trying to tell us that they weren’t going to tell us who Ben is going to choose because they didn’t “want to spoil” anything for the viewers, which is total bullshit because they didn’t mind spoiling who they think the Bachelorette is going to be (and I’m going to be really, really happy when they end up being wrong #fingerscrossed).

So this time I PROMISE I will have The Final Rose recap out by the end of the day Wednesday (I have a deadline on Wednesday for a piece of writing that actually pays, so that comes first, my friends). You can follow me on Twitter, keep up wit’ my Facebook Page, or subscribe to my once-a-week email newsletter instead of hoofing it over here every other day to see what’s up. I’ll be creepin’ on all your live tweets tonight via my Bachelor Master List, which you can also follow. 

And because shameless self-promotion is the only way I make money with this shiz, check out my novel THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE on Amazon. People – ones I don’t even know, even! – seem to like it! 

Until tonight, bachelor babes, keep it 100 on the hot tubs, bikinis, and wine tears!

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About Amber L.

Hi! I'm Amber. I've been telling stories with books and blogs since 2004. I also spent 10 years working as a behavior therapist, which I now put to proper use by publishing thought pieces and dissertations on '80s pop music and the defining TV shows of our current times ('The Bachelor', 'Vanderpump Rules', etc). I can also be credited with single-handedly ruining the city of Portland, OR just by moving here.

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