And besides, weddings and funerals are basically the same thing, anyway.

On Monday morning, I tweet-wondered whether my wedding guests would be cool with me making them join hands, raise them in the air, and sway their arms back and forth while they sang “Meet Me Half Way” by Kenny Loggins as I walked down the aisle.

And then I decided that I would like my funeral guests to sing this, also – except I want them to hold a candle while doing so, and for it to be more of a heartbreaking ballad version – while my young and incredibly handsome pallbearers carry me down the aisle.

Because, I mean…

It works for both occasions.

But I only want that for the end of the funeral. The beginning of the funeral is still reserved for “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina.”

I guess what I’m trying to say is:

all the things you never knew is now on Kindle!


And so is certain things you ought to know!

(because they kinda go together)

You can read more about all the things here


and certain things here


Then go buy them here! 


Or I’ll come back after I’m dead and haunt the shit out of you. 

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About Amber L.

Hi! I'm Amber. I've been telling stories with books and blogs since 2004. I also spent 10 years working as a behavior therapist, which I now put to proper use by publishing thought pieces and dissertations on '80s pop music and the defining TV shows of our current times ('The Bachelor', 'Vanderpump Rules', etc). I can also be credited with single-handedly ruining the city of Portland, OR just by moving here.

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